A tiny pet peeve turns into an aneurysm.

WARNING:  You will get an aneurysm if you read this post.  

There was a great post from Pimp My Novel about "An Incomplete Education" where everyday grammar mistakes are turned into comics.  We are all guilty of abusing these classics and the comic visualization just helps us nail the concept home.

But...
I'm have a slight problem with the logical explanation here:

(Image link from TheOatmeal.com comics.)

Yes, "alot" is NOT a word.  According to the logic above you would not write "alittle, abunch, acantaloupe, aprokchop" etc. Fair enough but what about these words, words that seem to have the same meaning together as they do a part: cannot, without, within, and maybe? Did they once have a life of their own and through pour pronunciation they were forced into an eternity of marriage?

Now let's take the same "a lot" logic and apply it to "cannot," the opposite occurs here.  Should we start using "willnot," "couldnot," "wantnot,"cantaloupenot," "porchopnot?" Okay, I got a little ridiculous but you see what I mean?  Maybenot?

All this lead me to do extensive research on cannot vs can not. (Simplest explanation here.) Though there are several points that are highly debatable: whether either is universal, if not what they mean, is it for emphatic purposes, blah, blah, blah, the overall consensus is: if it is impossible then it's "cannot" (i.e.I cannot go back in time.) and if you can but are simply not going to then it is "can not." This seems like a silly/weak explanation to me. Wouldn't "can not" work for either scenario?  (Is that a legitimate sentence in green.  I bet I broke 10 different grammar laws there. Oy!)

And there's more...

"Cannot" has been in the language as one word for hundreds of years.  Did someone come up with this explanation to blow smoke up the proverbial butts of the ancient literary gods? Maybe they were wrong? Or they may be right.  Apparently it's all debatable.  According to the "cannot" vs. "can not" proper usage, if  it "is not" possible should I use "isnot?" (i.e. It isnot possible to travel in time.) J

I'm not even going to touch my other examples (without, within, maybe.) Don't shoot me for draining your brain on Monday.  Like I said, my tiny pet peeve turned into an aneurysm.

Here are some more head scratchers: maybe vs. may be, apart vs a part, overall vs. over all, everyday vs every day, into vs in to...

Giggles and A Reality Check

Giggles
Text speak gone wrong.  I almost peed my pants when I read how this text went down between her and her husband.  My husband did the same thing when I showed it to him.  
Actual E-mail Conversation with Hubbykins This Morning by Karen Adkins


Continuing with the giggles, I pilfered through Karen's blog and came across her critique partners'.  This takes multitasking to a whole new level. But the very valid point, of what are you willing to do to get published.
How bad do you want it? by Kristin Gray


Reality Check
As a follow up to my post the other day about not giving bad book reviews, here's another reason why with an author's perspective.
Being Published changes Everything by Stacia Kane

I just might have to plagiarize.

Looking to expand my literary mind, I asked my new blogger buddy Nicole to recommend a good trashy romance novel. (Yeah, because she's that kind of a gal. Just kidding.) She recommended Sugar Daddy by Lisa Kleypas.  It came in the mail yesterday and I plan to start it tonight.  A little curious I peeked at the inside, hoping to read the word "thrust" with the first few paragraphs.  Instead, I was pleasantly surprised. (I have to tell you on a re-read of my post I originally wrote "presently" instead of "pleasantly".  Oh homonyms, you've gotta love 'em.)

Here is the most heartfelt, loving dedication I have ever read.  I hope my book dedication speaks so lovingly.

To my husband, Greg, who is my true love, my best friend, my adventure, my comfort, and the compass in the map of my heart.  For giving the best hugs, making me feel beautiful, being funny and smart, choosing the perfect wine, taking care of the family and always being the most interesting person in the room.

Wow.  That is exactly how I feel about my honey (Except take out the "choosing the perfect wine" and insert "making the perfect martini." And the whole bit about "Greg", my hubby might not like that.)

From time to time my mind has flitted to what I might put on this page of my published novel.  I just might have to plagiarize.

What will your dedication say?

My 2010 Reads and Recommendations

Well I didn’t quite meet my 30 book goal for 2010.  It’s not my fault though.  I ordered the books.  I expected them to arrive in time but alas, three of them were late.  But 27 out of 30 ain’t bad, right?  That’s like (hold on while I go do the only algebra problem I ever use as an adult…27/30 x X/100= 90%) 

90%!  I made an A!  I’m happy. 

I read a blog from an editor the other day who read like 278 books in 2010. What?!?  Is she serious? I have to wonder if A) they have a life, B) if they have children and C) a job ?!?  (Baffles mind.)  But I’m sure she is not the only marathon reader out there (you bunch of speed readers :o)) I’m happy with my 30, ahem, almost 30 books for this past year. 

So here, in no particular order (but slightly categorized by theme...) my Top Ten Reads of 2010:

The Secret Year by Jennifer Hubbard and The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson

Two books about death and love.  Both books use death from two different angles.  One will break your heart and the other will leave you spinning.  PS.  Here is the beautiful book review by Tahereh Mafi that made me want to read The Sky is Everywhere.  

Perfect Chemistry by Simone Eikeles

Okay, so I'm like the last one to get on this boat, I know.  But this is the hottest, sexiest book I've read this last year.  When a latino gang banger and a blond rich snob fall in love, will the colliding of their two worlds make or break their relationship?  Whatever the reason you haven't picked this up yet, let it go, it's worth your time.

 

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White and The Body Finder by Kimberly Derting

Two really fresh paranormal debuts, with classic girl meets boy teen chemistry.  Paranormalcy will appeal to those who love all the usual suspects as far as creatures are concerned.  The Body Finder is more of, I have a secret gift,  I find dead people, but go to normal high school, prom, and fall in love.  (not in that order)  Both I found to be unique for the YA paranormal genre.

The Left Hand of God by Paul Hoffman

This is the part of the program where we interupt our regularly scheduled show, classic YA, and venture to the Fantasy side.  Besides the main character being a teen, there isn't much else about this book that feels YA.  But I didn't care.  This book is also classified as a Fantasy novel, which is more accurate, sort of.  I know, confusing huh.  A young boy raised by brutal monks escapes into a new like within the kingdom.  The places and locations are a grab bag mix of real and fake nipped from different era's in time but all with a medieval feel.  Here's my book review for it, to give you a better idea.  I truly enjoyed it.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The story is heart wrenching: a man and his son try to survive a dystopian future where America is burning to the ground, literally.  The writing in this book is SUPERIOR (hence the Pulitzer prize.)  Here's the brilliance: not a single quotation mark but there's dialog, there are no traditional dialog tags (he said or she said) but there's dialog, not a single proper noun in the whole book but you know pretty accurately what state they are in.  Yes, you read all that right.  Pure genius.

Madapple by Christina Meldrum

As you'll read in my book review, Christina Meldrum's education in law, passion for herbalism, and deep examination of religion and science are the bones of Madapple.  Meldrum unravels the twisted secret life of isolation, of a girl and her warped mother.  It's deep theories are not for the faint of heart or easily offended religious person.  It's kind of like Flowers in the Attic meets Nell.

The Summer I Turned Pretty & It’s Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han

I can't gush about these books enough.  I cringe when people use the words "simple read" to describe a book, so instead I'll say "smooth read."  The story is as soft and warm as the cover.  It talks of tans, summer crushes and yes, heart break.  You grow with the characters over a lifetime of summers in Han's perfectly placed flashbacks, all relating to the summer she turned pretty.  The perfect title for the time in our life when MG turns YA.  My book reviews here and here.

You'll notice I read a lot more "normal" books than "paranormal" this year.  That was no mistake on my part. In efforts to not be a genre snob, I selected books with normal stories as well to give myself a well rounded view.  Most of the "normal" books dragged for me more than the paranormal (excluding the above) but that is probably due to my preference.  I also notice I veered away from the "Happy Ever After" cliche books, again, to round my reading tastes.

  

To see all the books I’ve read for 2010 go here.

What was your 2010 "must read"?

What 2¢ Will Buy You…

Used to, a piece of bubblegum but now, my writer advice.  (Okay if you really want to be technical, I’m giving you my two cents, figuratively.) I am a better writer today because of other writers’ generosity. I have foraged through blogs like my own and learned more about the publishing industry than any book could have taught me. (All for free I might add, minus my time.)  Maybe some new writer will cross my blog and learn a thing or two to help them along on their journey. 
So here’s my two cents:

Keep your writer brain in good shape.

Sometimes you’ll read “write every day.”  I don’t necessarily subscribe to that theory but I do believe you should always write.  (Yeah I know what you’re thinking, what’s the darn difference?) It’s like going to the gym, if you take a few days break your body appreciates it but you take a few weeks off, your muscles forget.  The same goes for your writer brain.  Work it too much and you burn out your creative juices, take too long of a break and your writer brain will start to get flabby. Doesn’t mean you have to write every day but write often.  You don’t have to write just on your novel either.  Write on your blog, edit your novel, make notes, outline, whatever just do it often.

Try it every which way.

(Remove mind from gutter and continue…)There is no one way to write, edit, critique, etc.  Everybody has their own style and what works for one may not work for another.   I encourage you to try a new method, at least once, even if you are sure you won’t like that style.  One of two things will happen; either you will love the new method or you will hate it so much you will really value your original process.  By all means if something works, stick with it and if it doesn’t…FIND A NEW WAY.   There are soooo many methods out there to explore, take the time to find yours.  Embrace change, it could be just what your writing needs.  (I did recently and it took my writing to a whole new level.) 

Critique partner(s) and Beta Readers are a must.

I am grateful to Diana Paz for reaching out to me and offering to read my work.  (It was crap.) But she helped me see past the crap and taught me how to turn it into something…less crap like.  It’s tough putting your heart and soul out on the butcher block but you WILL NOT refine your craft if you don’t get a third party PROFESSIONAL (meaning someone who knows the mechanics of writing, not just someone who likes to read.) opinion.  Every critique partner brings something different to the table, some are: grammar experts, plot hunters, voice refinement, etc.  The best critique is the one you walk away from, a better writer.   

Push through the pain.

This one is the toughest for me.  When the going gets tough, I do laundry.  Anne R. Alan, fellow writer, once wrote in comments of a blog, “Show me a writer with a clean house and I'll show you a case of writer's block.”  So true!  I always get a sudden case of writer’s block just as I hit that difficult scene.  You know the one, where you have NO idea what happens next.  I’m stunted for days, sometimes longer.  But now, I force myself to push through the pain.   Yes, the scene has a suckage level that will best the most expensive of vacuums but that’s ok, I can rewrite it later.  And you know what usually happens, I push through, get to the good stuff I want to write about and I’ll be struck with an idea on how to fix the suckage.   

Do your homework!

If you don’t listen to anything else I’ve said here today, head this advice.  There is NO excuse for not knowing the world of publishing.  Now I don’t have all the answers but I have found 99.9% of them through the internet…for free! There are lots of blogs out there from writers, agents, editors, so there is no excuse not to educate yourself.   When I hear agents/editors complaining reminding writers about the common sense don’ts of the publishing industry, (i.e.  Don’t send your query to someone who does NOT represent your genre: fantasy book sent to romance agent.) I won’t to thump the person in the noggin. Seriously folks, you’re giving the rest of us writers a bad name.  When I say research, I’m not talking about spending a weekend scouring the internet and viola! You’re an expert.  No, because I did that and all I came up with was those commercial websites promising to help get you published, blah, blah, blah.  Useless really.  It took months of research before I even stumbled across blogs and a few weeks after that to discover the quality blogs where I get the meat of my information.  Know your field inside and out.  Your agent will thank you.

Okay so maybe it was a little more than two cents but for you, it was free.  J What’s your advice? 

Recent Posts from other bloggers who inspired my post today:

In Game Shape from The Ink Slingers ( I LOVE this blog name.  I SOOOOO want to be an Ink Slinger with them.)

Pushing Through the Pain from The Ink Slingers (Still loving the name, it has a certain swagger to it, doesn’t it?)

Critique: pro and peer by Jennifer Hubbard  

Do you Goodreads or Shelfari?

Originally I discovered Shelfari a year and a half ago when I got back into reading.  (Kids can suck the brains out of you, you know?)  Not long after joining Shelfari I found out about Goodreads.  In efforts to NOT give myself more work (Freaking A, who needs more work? Unless your an agent then "Me! I do! I do!)  I decided to stick with Shelfari and not transfer all my stuff to Goodreads or maintain both.

What do you do?  Is there a difference?  I see Goodreads in the blogosphere way more than Shelfari so I'm wondering if I picked the wrong team.  (Kind of like those people who picked Team Gayle over Team Peeta...Ha!  Just messing with you Team Gayle people (*mumbles "even though you picked wrong.")

If the both book shelves are equal in the universe then yay!  Someday my book will be on those shelves and I want to make sure I'm not missing out on anything.

Admission, Anti-Americanism, and a Newbie

Doesn't it feel good when somebody else talks about the woes of admitting you're a writer and you realize you're not the only one in the boat.  Roni Loren hits the nail on the head in her "Saying 'I'm a Writer" - The 6 Stages of Responses from Others"  (It feels more like the 6 stages of Confession or the 12 Steps to AA.)

You've gotta love a Canadian who defends America.  TL Tyson is the cutest thing ever and her "Don't hate, appreciate. Anti-Americanism" vlog is awesome.

http://youtu.be/YCcvhO9_Q3E

Here's a new writer in the community.  She's very funny and worth following.  Go check out her blog:  http://nicolemclaughlin.blogspot.com/

That's all I have for today.  Hope you have a great weekend!

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Check this movie trailer out.  I can't wait!

When a Bad Book Needs a Good Spanking

Yesterday I read Valerie Geary’s “My Non-Quandary About Book Reviews” where she discusses the struggle of published and aspiring writers with posting a bad review for a book. 

When a bad book needs a good spanking, I don’t give it.  I can’t.  I don’t give bad book reviews.  Period.  Why you ask? (Whether you did or didn’t I’m gonna tell you.)  There’s a multitude of reasons. 

First off, I don’t want the Karma Fairies smiting down my publishing career before I even get started.  Sure it sounds like a copout to say such a thing but I can’t imagine putting someone else’s work down will further my career in any way.  Like Desmond Tutu says, “If I diminish you, I diminish myself.”  (It’s my new philosophy in my journey to seek inner peace.  No seriously, I’m trying to find myself in all this mess we call life.)

Secondly, I’m not a professional book reviewer nor is my blog about book reviews.  Sure I give the occasional book review on my blog but they are more about sharing my excitement about a book I love to fellow writers.

Another reason I don’t spank books, I don’t know how to give a bad review without slamming it and pointing out where the author went wrong.  I GET ANGRY when I read a book that feels technically wrong.  Things that if my critique partner sent this to me I’d rip her a new one.  What angers me even more is HOW DID THIS CRAP GOT PUBLISHED?!?  *taking a deep breath*

So here’s my problem with writing a bad review for a book,  I can’t do it tactfully without my emotion spilling onto the page.  I even tried to Google how to write a bad book review and couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for.  Valarie followed up her book review post above with “5 Dos and Don'ts for Writing Book Reviews” giving a few basic guidelines when writing a book review.  I’ve got the basics down.  I want to know how to write a BAD book review without; hurting the author’s feelings, inciting a riot from those who did love the book or worse, coming off like an arrogant book snob who’s an expert on the craft of writing a novel when I’m not even published, must less an editor or agent.  If you write/find a straightforward  “How to Write a Bad Book Review” let me know.

If I was NOT a professional writer, I’d be happy to write bad reviews but I am, so I don’t.  As a writer I read books on a whole different level.  It’s not a bad thing but I find I am pickier about what I read.  And for the sake of saving my friends a few bucks, I DO want to tell them which books I would NOT recommend.  Star ratings are generic I know but I do rate my Shelfari bookshelf books in hopes to vaguely guide some people.   

1 star = Heck no, don’t waste your money or time!

2 stars = Why do they even have a 2 stars?  I never rate with a 2.  What’s the point?

3 stars = I thought it was alright, people who like X subject would like it better.

4 stars = Really good book, you should check it out.

5 stars = You’re an idiot if you have not read this book.   

A part of me would like to start a blog page and just list the books I would not recommend but then that seems arrogant in some way.  I’ll keep trying to devise a tactful way of sharing my distastes for a particular book but until then, just search for my star rating on Shelfari bookshelf.

EDIT:  More thoughts on the subject:
Elle Strauss, her post aptly named "Watch Your Mouth"
Nicole McLaughlin writes "Sometimes Books Suck"  I couldn't have said it better.  Cute cartoon to boot.

Zombies on My Lawn

Hey!  *waves* Remember me?  Zombies have been invading my lawn and stomping on my daisies and I haven't had much time for blogging.  Which really sucks because I've got several notes on blogs I'd like to write but hey, when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade for the lawn zombies and wait for the apocalypse to end.

For me, I'm writing the ending of my book which is a complete nightmare.  Though I have the end all worked out in my brain, the paper doesn't want to cooperate.  Stupid paper.  

Plus all that moaning from outside is keeping me from being focused. Maybe I'll feed the zombies my neighbors so they will shut up for a while.  

No, can't do that.  They will be like a stray cat, once you feed them, THEY'LL NEVER LEAVE!  Oh well, at least I can avoid the lawn work for now.  (Who am I kidding, I pay people to do our lawn.)

PS.  Did I tell you I'm reading a popular book right now that really stinks?  Ugh.

The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things

Just finished this book by Carolyn Mackler.  It won the Michael L. Printz Honor in the YA category.  I bought the book (used for $1) after I heard Carolyn Mackler speak at the SCBWI LA 2010 conference.  I wanted to read it because:

1. I really enjoyed Carolyn's candid speech.
2. The book won a YA award
3. The book has been banned in several libraries across the country for being, too sexual.

In short the book is about an overweight teen, Virginia, who eats through her families problems.  In the end she realizes how to be true to herself.  I liked the book.  After reading it I want to address two things: teens/weight and teens/sex.

If you are an overweight teen I think this book could be inspirational.  I was not an overweight teen.  As a matter of fact, I was quite the opposite but I suffered the same abuse Virginia did; being judged about your weight.  I was 5'7" in high school, barely 100 pounds.  My metabolism was excessively high.  I could eat cheeseburgers, pizza and nachos and not gain a pound (I'd kill for that now.) But my point, I was teased for being too skinny.  I'm sure everyone is saying, "You were skinny.  What are you complaining about?"  It sucked being called "Board Breast", "Ethiopian" or being accused of having an eating disorder or tapeworm, or worse, reading a note from a guy you have a crush who wrote, and I quote, "Fucking Dana would be like fucking a skeleton with no meat."  (Jerk! Boy did I know how to pick 'em.)

Dealing with teen issues in a YA book is sticky ground but the truth is, teen issues aren't pretty so when a book dishes it like it is, I want to smack the adults who jump on the bandwagon to ban a book.  Which brings me to my next point, teens and sex.  When I started to read this book, because of the whole ban from your libraries thing, I was expecting some juicy sex scenes with vivid over the top unnecessary descriptions that glorified premarital acts in way that girls ran out to have sex.

Um.... nope.


Yes there were a couple of groping and kissing scenes but they were very matter of a fact, short and not glamourous by any means. (Disappointing actually.) So what was the big deal?  If you find out, let me know.


The truth is teens have sex or at the very least grope.  Yes, I am sure that there were wholesome teens now turned adults who never did such a thing until they were married.  But from my recollection as a teen in a normal high school in small town America, that was a rarity NOT the norm unfortunately.  


I am convienced that there is an adult disease that once you hit the age 30, your teenage years are wiped from your brain because some parents seem to have forgotten what it was like.  Parents absolutely have the right to protest a book.  Their intentions are pure; they want to protect their child from being exposed to these kinds of things.  Parent should realize though, teens will learn about sex, one way or another, whether you want them to or not.  When you ban a book, you just might as well have pointed them in that direction.  It's kind of like gossip, the more people talk about it the bigger it becomes, the less people talk about it the smaller it becomes.  I think Carolyn Mackler gave a very realistic yet tasteful approach to some sticky teen issues.  I would most definitely recommend her book to a parent of a teen any day.


Have you read the book?  Do you think it should be banned?

Why Sarah Dessen?

You’ve seen her covers right?  Those sugary sweet soft pastel covers that whisper to you about the guy next door.  As a reader of mostly paranormal, if I read about the “normal” it better smother me in heart breaking, love crushing relationship or I’m not interested.

Several times I’ve found myself gravitating to one of those covers but after reading the back I’d think, eh, maybe next time.  A good friend of mine’s neighbor had a garage sale and my friend purchased two Sarah Dessen books from the teenage daughter because she knew “I LOVED teenage books.”  Ahem, “Young Adult,” I corrected her (after I crawled out from under the rock and gladly accepted her garage sale finds.)  Then added, looking down my nose at the books (to hide my humiliation for the love of teen.), “Sarah Dessen.  Not an author I typically read but I check it out.”  Six months later I did just that.

Honestly I had nothing else to read so I sat down and tried “Lock and Key” (then later read “Just Listen.”)  I’ll have to say the back cover really didn’t draw me in, neither did the first 100 pages (very slow build.)  But I chose to keep reading her book to determine why they were so popular.  By the time I got to the end, I found my answer, or answers. 

1. No smut.  Some kissing scenes but they are very brief.  (Moms will approve.)
2. Though sex is in the books, it’s implied not described.
3. There is light cussing (the basic hell, shit, damn) but nothing offensive.
4. Her stories are very realistic with a simple happy ending. 
5. Everybody wants to fall in love with the hunky boy next door, right? (Or girl next door.) 

Will I be reading more of her books?  Probably not.  Though Sarah Dessen is an excellent writer who can truly tap into the teenage life, her stories are a little soft for my tastes.  For the most part I didn’t find myself wanting to turn the page to find out more (like my action paced, paranormal books do) but I did anyway to answer my big question.  By the end of each book I appreciated her slow pace because it built a strong foundation for each character.  (A lesson learned for this writer.)  You really knew them as if they were your own sister or friend or neighbor.  Characters I found myself loving and kind of missing long after the story was over.  Eventually I realized her stories just stick with you better than super glue, and that’s Why Sarah Dessen.