Cupid’s Literary Connection #TheWVoice
May 02, 2013Winner winner chicken dinner! Okay so I know I only made
their lottery but hey, you can’t win if you don’t enter. Am I right, or am I
right?
Pretty much, Cupid's Literary Connection is having a
competition that’s similar to the television show The Voice (which I love btw.)
Here is Cupid’s contest linky. Now they want me to post my query and the first
250 words on my blog, where it will be judged by four people. IF I’m selected,
they will coach me on my entry, help me polish it and post it on their blog
where a very nice list of agents will vote on their favorites.
Wish me luck. Here it is:
QUERY:
I’m seeking representation for my 72,000 word YA
contemporary romance, SOUTH OF SUNSHINE.
Seventeen-year-old Kaycee McCoy, a girl with “yes, ma’am”
ingrained in her DNA, has had her share of boyfriends, but she’s never enjoyed
kissing any of them. When beautiful and worldly Bren Dawson moves to Sunshine,
Tennessee, Kaycee falls for her, hard. In a small town where factory closings
threaten your livelihood and religion curbs your behavior, coming out could
only bring shame to her family. But Kaycee is swept up in a whirlwind of
exciting new emotions, and lets her guard down. One night under a fat country
moon, Kaycee’s best friend catches them kissing, and her whole world comes
crashing down.
Deep-seated bigotry runs Bren’s family out of town when her
life is threatened. In the wake of losing her first love, Kaycee is shunned by
the townspeople she’s always trusted and a mother who prepares to send her
daughter to evangelical home school to be fixed. Ultimately she must decide how
much she’s willing to risk in order to gain their acceptance and be true to
herself, even if it means losing everything.
250 WORDS:
Chapter 1
Dave Bradford’s tongue feels like a fat slug in my mouth.
The bell rings, and I smack my lips off his and regret sneaking out of class
early for this. I use the back of my hand to clear the slobber. He watches me,
his brow creasing. It’s then I realize what I think is a smile on my face is
more like a pucker of disgust. I show more teeth in hopes it looks like a
grin—and not like a chimpanzee baring its gums.
“Do you like…kissing?” asks Dave. I can’t help but feel he’s
asking more than he’s asking.
The locker hallways crowd with students. Someone bumps me
from behind, and I jerk back to keep from slamming into Dave’s camel lips. The
flinch doesn’t go unnoticed. Dave cocks a brow, waiting.
It should be an easy answer. A yes or no would do, but it’s
not that simple. I’ve kissed lots of boys. Well, what I think would be lots for
the average seventeen-year-old girl. If we’re talking, say, Becky Staggs—who has
perused every set of lips this side of the Mississippi—then my lip-locking
would be a drop in a bucket.
My first kiss, French kiss, was the single most disgusting
moment in my life. Brandon Hayes, the boy I decided would be a fitting summer
boyfriend between seventh and eighth grade, had been going out with me a whole
two weeks. He pulled me under one of those big beautiful oak trees during the
heat of summer. The butterflies in my stomach migrated to my throat. Their
wings racked against my esophagus, trying to get the hell out of there. Before
I could decipher why the moment felt so terribly wrong, he shoved his tongue
into my mouth. It took a full thirty seconds of teeth gnashing and tongue
lapping before I started to reciprocate. Or my best interpretation of what I
thought I was supposed to be doing.
The moment Brandon set me free, I ran straight home, immediately
called him and broke up.
“Kaycee?” Dave snaps his fingers in my face. I startle to
attention.
---------------------------------------
Thanks so much, coaches, for stopping by. I hope you liked
my story, and I look forward to working with you...if you pick me.
51 comments
I love the line "like a chimpanzee baring its gums." I have so had that thought/fear. It feels very real. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI love that line too! Thanks so much for your compliment. I tried my hardest to make this as real as possible, happy it shows.
DeleteI love this premise & your writing is vivid and highly readable. I hope this gets through, because there needs to be more LGBTQ YA! (and love the Southern, small town setting -- adds fabulous color)
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets through too! And I fully agree, more LGBTQ on the shelves please...with happy endings, too. :)
DeleteLoving your first line! Such great voice here. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm kind of a fan of it too, but it took FOREVER to get it right. THanks for complimenting me on it.
DeleteI basically just want to read this, all of this, immediately. Fantastic job! Good luck! :D
ReplyDeleteAww, that makes me feel really good. I'm so glad you like it. I hope one day you get the chance to buy it. ;)
DeleteYou made me chuckle despite the bad memories of my first french and grape Bubble Yum...
ReplyDeleteGood luck and great writing. I must go brush my teeth now.
~Jill Haugh
So glad it gave you a giggle. ANd I apologize for the disgusting analogy. ;)
DeleteFat slug and chimpanzee teeth - hilarious. Delicious voice. Dying to read this.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Leslie. Thank you so much for always being supportive.
DeleteLol, I liked the voice in your first 250 words, too. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteTHank you so much! Voice is tough. Glad to know it's coming through in such a small piece.
DeleteThis sounds like a really great read — and like just the kind of book people need right now. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you think it's a book that needs to be out there. I really appreciate it.
DeleteHey I love your voice and your reactions! Good Luck
ReplyDelete#77
Thanks! THere might be a little past experience that I tapped into for the kissing scene. ;)
DeleteOh, and good luck to you too!
Deletegood luck!, but i don't think you'll need luck when the pitch and the first 250 are so knock-out great. dying to read the whole thing now!
ReplyDeleteThat's so great of you to say. I hope you're right!
DeleteThis story has a great voice!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI have read this book, America, and it is FANTASTIC! WV judges, you WANT IT! Trust me! :-D
ReplyDeleteAww, I love you, lady. THanks for all the CP love. My pages are so much better because of you!
DeleteOh I just really love this! And the voice is fantastic! Good luck!
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteI agree with all of the above--love the writing--makes kissing sound just awful! I'm in a very conservative southern town and really love that you've set the story in such a difficult place. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWe've all kissed that one person with the soft tongue, right? Ew!
DeleteGo Dana! Love this book!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the CP love! You took my manuscript and kicked its ass. Loved all your comments.
DeleteWOW! Your query and first 250 ROCK! And I LOVE the first line of your 250. Good luck! I would totally choose this!
ReplyDeleteComing from you, I'm flattered to have such a gushing comment. Thank you!!!
DeleteLove the opening lines - a funny take on remembering a first French kiss. Oh yes, it brings back memories. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteFrench kisses are very awkward the first few times. I don't know how we survived it! lol Thanks for you compliments!
DeleteGreat voice for the MC in the 250. I like the title, and the subject is one I think should have more presence on the bookshelves. Best of luck to you. :)
ReplyDeleteTHank you! I hope it makes it to the shelves too!
DeleteThe southern setting adds so much tension - the south tends to be far more set in its ways and less accepting then other regions - to an already rough (for most people) situation. This is a very timely story, good luck!
ReplyDeleteSo true Melissa. THe more these books are out there, the more they can help others.
DeleteThe setting alone makes this book a must-get-published. Living in SoCal, I know that there are still people naive enough to believe this would never happen. The conflict in this story rings true. And we do so desperately need more YA LGBTQ with happy endings for the teens out there living everywhere (but especially these small towns). LOVE this premise, LOVE your writing. Just LOVE. Best of luck to you!!
ReplyDeleteYou just made my week! I'm happy you love so much of my story. And I agree with you, living in SoCal I think people forget that things like this DO still happen and people need to be aware. Best of luck to you too!
DeleteMega fistpumps for LGBTQ YA! Even more fistpumps for an LGBTQ YA love story set in the south! Thank you thank you thank you--I worked as a volunteer for an LGBTQ youth group for a bit, and books like these are NEEDED, especially here in the south. I think your query & 250 are pretty strong, and I wish you luck. Push this thing through and do not stop until it gets published. Seriously. This book could do a lot of good. Thank you for writing it!
ReplyDeleteWhen my self doubt starts to kick in, I'm giving YOU a call. Thank you! Your comment is full of so much excitement and heart, it made me teary-eyed. This contest is only one door. This book will be on the shelves one day, you mark my words! GO LGBTQ!!!!
DeleteQuite welcome, I meant every word I said. Get it out there! I know a number of people who would love it. You've definitely got a promoter here :)
DeleteGreat to see some LGBTQ YA! I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDeletethank you so much.
DeleteWow! This is really, really good - loved your first page! Nothing against your query...thought that was awesome, too, but I was totally hooked by your first page especially. :) Good luck! I would love to read this someday!
ReplyDeleteI love your premise and first 250! I'd love to read the rest! Good luck with the contest. :)
ReplyDeleteWow - what a great premise! This first part hooked me in too. Great job! You should get lucky soon I'd say!
ReplyDeleteThis has my curiousity peaked, esp. since some of the names tend to send a ringing of familiarity off in my head! LOL Would love to read the whole work. I think it will give insight into how the environment of your "upbringing" collided with where you currently live and how you have meshed the two together through writing.
ReplyDeleteBusted! I wrote ONE familiar name in the story as a placeholder, telling myself I'll change it later or at least before I get published. My thought was that no one from TN would ever see the manuscript before publication. Oops. Not many people from back home know I'm a writer. I keep it quite because I'm not published yet. I hope one day you get a chance to buy a copy. ;)
DeleteLove hearing from my friends.♥