Dude, Get Your Ass Reading

February 20, 2012

I did have the post titled "How to be a Reader in 3 Easy Steps." Upon realizing the boringness of that title, I changed it.  For most of you, telling you "how to be a reader” sounds like a dumb notion. I’d even guess most of you are not only readers, but are probably voracious readers.  Were you always?  Not me.  And there are a lot of people out there who haven’t picked up a book in years.  I bet you know quite a few non-readers out there.  Hopefully, this post will help you, help your friends to get their ass reading.

Whether you’ve always been a reader or you’ve become one in your adult years or maybe you want to be a reader, it only requires one thing…desire.

Maybe it’s the desire to learn about something new.  The desire to understand complex topics.  To improve your knowledge base.  To challenge your thinking.  To escape for a few hours.  To read dirty sex scenes in romance novels for cheap thrills. Or any combination of the above.  I don't judge.

Our brains are just like our bodies, proper nutrition and exercise makes a healthy physique.  Feed your brain and watch your mind grow, your conversations flourish and your vocabulary expand.  (And if your reading cheap sex scenes in romance novels, you might also improve your naked skills.  Just saying.) For me, it became a drug (reading, not improving my naked skills.  Though, now that I think about it....) All the benefits of a high and none of the side effects.

Here are a few steps to help you become a reader:

1. Pick a book.
Sounds like a simple concept but finding something that captures your attention can be very hard.  And for most of my non-reader friends, their first complaint is they can’t find anything interesting to read.  What type of movies/tv shows do you like?  Translate that to books.  Do you like mysteries? Self help books?  Biographies? Romance? General fiction?  Historical non-fiction? You’re not sure because it’s been so long since you’ve picked anything up?  Then ask your friends what they are reading.  Most likely if your friends with someone, you’ll have similar tastes.  Grab the NY Times Best Seller list and eni mini mini mo.  Just pick up ANYTHING to get yourself started.

2.   Take the time.
Whether it’s exercise, learning how to knit, rebuilding a car, refining your naked skills or any other hobby, if you have the desire you will find the time.  The beauty with books is that you don’t need much time.  In December 2008, I became a reader.  It all started with a little move called Twilight.  (Please no one throw up.  I love the movies and books and TOTALLY recognize them as cheesy fluff.  Moving on.) Once I found out they were books, I was hooked.  But finding the time to read became difficult because it wasn’t in my regular routine.  So each night when I went to bed, I told myself to read for 10 minutes.  Well, when you find a good book (“good” being subjective), that 10 minutes quickly became hours and I had to force myself to go to bed at 1am. 

3.  Don’t give up and don’t settle.
You picked a book, you took the time and nothing.  You're now thinking this reading shit is for the birds.  Well, you’ve picked the wrong book.  I know your neighbor’s sister’s cousin and millions of readers think Twilight is the greatest love story ever told but it makes you want to stab your eyeballs with forks.Hell, by all means, PICK A DIFFERENT BOOK!  That’s the genius of books.  There’s a genre out there, just for you!  Don’t settle for something because everyone else loves it and you feel like a total loser for not liking the latest trend.  And don’t give up on being a reader just because the first book or two or ten sucked.  With each book you read, whether you love or hate it, will help you hone in on your tastes.  Before you know it, you will be able to read the first couple of pages of a book and now instantly if you will like it or not. (For the record, you will not improve your naked skills reading twilight.  Bummer.) 

If you’re already a reader, fabulous, then share this post with someone who’s not.  You’re never too old to start reading. (Or improve your naked skills. Just saying.)

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  1. I can already think of a handful of people who should read this post!

    I'm such a huge bookworm so I don't expect other people to read as much as I do. But it makes me sad to hear about some people who can find time to watch three hours of television each night but say they have no time to read even one chapter a day. I feel bad for them! They're missing out on some really terrific books out there.

  2. I'll admit, your title grabbed me. :) I LOVE reading. Have to limit myself because otherwise my head would always be in a book. Great post!

  3. I judge the quality of my life by always being involved in a book I'm loving. The cartoon is hilarious. BTW - I inhaled the Twilight books. Say what you will about the quality of the writing, but the stories grab you and don't let go.

  4. Um, that image at the bottom of this post is the AWESOMEST ever. I have been that reader.

    The rest of this post is awesome too.

  5. I am the most awesomest reader I know!! lol My messy house is probably the best proof of that...just ask my husband! ;) When I was a child books were my rewards, they were my favorite toys and I slept with them. Nothing has changed, I still sleep with them! haha. That carton is really great!

  6. I'm in the sad list of non-readers, at the moment anyway. Reason is, I keep finding other things that take presidence. The best I can hope for is a potty break and just reading a few lines out of a Manga Series or something. I miss reading, but honestly since I've remarried with my 4 step children, I don't seem to get any quiet reading time. After they go night night, that's the time my wife and I spend together, so it leaves littel for me.

  7. Laura – Yay! I hope they do read it and get started. And I agree, I don’t expect people to read as much as me either but I think five books a year is a great goal.

    Catherine – Phew, thank goodness I changed the title. ;) Yeah, I have to keep a handle on it too.

    Leslie – I love that! I might have to quote you. And yeah, people act like the Twilight books were poorly written, which they are not, they are just simple writings. Not everything can be literary, nor would I want it to be.

    Amalia – That is a pretty good cartoon. I’ve so done that too.

    Nicole – OLBFF! You need a sign for your front door “The status of my house is reflective of this awesome ass book I’m reading.” Sleep with your books, your husband must be jealous. ;)

    Jessica – It’s the best!

    Void – Shame on you! Yeah four kids is a bunch. And yes I think you should spend time with wifie BUT you should give yourself a little time too. Ten minutes a night is no selfish. AND if you’re going to be a writer, reading is a must.


Love hearing from my friends.♥

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