"I said, 'Do you speaka my language?'

“He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.”

Unless you come from the land down under (and in no way am I trying to insinuate that the powers that be live below the ground) if you don’t speak the language you might not know what a vegemite sandwich is.

The literary world is jungle of terms and secret guidelines that if you Google “How to find a literary agent?” you will be blasted with every blood sucking, give me money up front I’ll get you published website. Trust me, I spent a few hours doing this and got nowhere, a lonely place to be by the way. In there lies your problem. In all the land of good that is Google, your search results are as valuable as the perimeters defined.

How do you know what you’re looking for if you don’t know what it’s called?

Thousands before us have trenched through the waters of the slush pile (again, literary language defined –n. something all writers want to avoid), somehow managed to get published and now hold the secrets to the literary world. A world where you can learn the language, find the guidelines and save the damsel in distress! A-ha!

Research your favorite authors, scour their websites, inhale their blogs, and click their links because there is a wealth of knowledge out there waiting for you. I spent the entire weekend from from the birth of Saturday until the death of Sunday cramming my brain with “how to write a query” (until yesterday I did not know the official term for the letter to the agent) to “why royalty statements should be reconciled to print”, I was feeling optimistic.

Not all the websites and blogs I read were valuable, one of my favorite authors devours a certain publication the second she receives it but it was Greek to me. The point is, the more searching begets more refined searches in turn educating yourself to feel more like a local. A local squirrel that set up camp in the corner of a den full of hungry carnivores but at least you’re there.

So I’m off, to finish my book so I can ...what is that word I'm looking for *moment of letholigica*...oh yeah, redact it.

BTW…It’s an Australian vegetable extract used as a flavoring or spread.