It’s a fact I’ve learned to accept. That little voice nagging away at you. To be a good writer you live in a state of constant doubt. Always tweaking and refining your craft. But does it ever quiet down?
When I first started writing my current WIP in February, I set the page on fire. My main character’s voice screamed the words at me and pushed me to type faster. I poured her heart out on the page and spun giddy at how easily it came. Happy with every word I typed and where my words took me, I kept moving forward. I realize this is a first draft and there will be multitude of revisions but I love it.
Ready to move forward, I’ve decided to send it to my critique buddy. Since I first put those words on the page a month ago, I have not looked at them. I’ve spent the better part of the last two days reviewing, correcting, reorganizing and polishing my first chapter up for her to review. For the most part I am happy with my original work but I did find it a bit all over the place so I reorganized. I’m about to give it one final review tonight and then it is off.
And I’m scared.
What is she going to say? Will she hate it? I hope she rips it apart but I’m terrified. I know it is far from perfect but doubt is seeping in my brain, knocking down all my confidence. It pushes and pulls at me until I finally have to yell, “ENOUGH! It is what it is.”
What do you do when doubt starts to eat at you? How do you tear down the wall of doubt?